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December 13, 2012
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sad rant hnngg

Journal Entry: Thu Dec 13, 2012, 7:46 PM

you can ignore this post



My most dreaded day of the year is this monday. My birthday.
And like every year I really try to not think about it. I hate it. It's always the worst day of the year for me.
Ever since I moved down to Brisbane from Darwin I have disliked my birthday more and more, and Idk if it's because the people down here are more unfriendly or if it's legit just me.

Every year for the past 10 years my birthday has been like a bad omen to me. Maybe it's because my birthday is so close to Christmas? Or maybe because everyone is away on holidays, but no one seems to think about my birthday besides my close family. My friends are always too busy or too broke. Even though when I'm busy or broke I really try my hardest to make it to every one of their birthdays or parties.

I don't ever expect presents because to me someones presence is presents enough. But people never seem to show up, and because of this I get a lot of anxiety in the weeks leading up to my birthday.
Why do I even bother to plan my birthday still? Idek what I keep expecting but I need to stop. I should really just invite the people I know who will come. My family. But my family always insist that I invite my friends and it's always fucking embarrassing and degrading when either little to none show up.

I know I should appreciate the people who do come but it's really hard to stay happy on my birthday when I know people can come but choose not to. Using the word "can't" over their true "won't" just really puts me down.

I'm really sorry for this rant, I just have no one to actually talk to about this because my pride gets in the way.

I'm also really sorry for my art block and social block, but this is my reason why I have them OTL
When my birthday passes I should be back on my feet again, drawing everyone their birthday and christmas presents. Please be patient for a while longer.

<3



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:iconcorey-h:
=Corey-H Dec 16, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Woah, the amount of love on the post gave me cancer, you should be proud you have so many people that care about you!
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:iconpasakon:
*pasakon Dec 16, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Haha yeah!
It's embarrassing looking back at this post after how good my birthday was though.
But I'm really happy to know I'm supported. :iconweepplz:
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:iconenderkichi:
SAMU!! If I could I'd kidnap you to Vegas foe your Bday thought honestly I dont think Vegas is all that much fun... but still
jahskdjfhakjdsf *hugs* I usually hate my bday too OTL... pretty much for the same reason
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:iconpasakon:
*pasakon Dec 16, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hahaha Isn't Vegas meant to be fun fun FUN?
But hnnng thank you so much babu <3
And it sucks that you hate your birthday for the same reason QAQ!!! You're so nice so I can't see you being in the same situation as me QAQ
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:iconenderkichi:
pfff the thing is I've been pretty isolated all my life so I really dont have many irl friends and the ones I "do" have are usually too busy with their own lives to mind me that much xD
And like I only hang out with people who have nothing at all in common with me same the fact we work at the same place. So it comes down to "celebrating" my birthday with my siblings and their friends. Which really isnt that bad because I've learnt not to care that much about it anyway :'D
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:iconbittersweetchoco:
~bittersweetchoco Dec 14, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
D<
Can I punch these "friends" in the face? If I lived near you, I would totally go. And you'll get presents on dA, I'm sure. : D

Or you can just chill and just not do anything on your birthday. It's the strategy I've employed for the past two years, since my birthday = cake shoved down my throat = NOT okay.
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:iconpasakon:
*pasakon Dec 16, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Lol yeah I will probably just not do anything for my next birthday, although this one wasn't as bad as usual ; v ;

o: you don't like cake?
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:iconbittersweetchoco:
~bittersweetchoco Dec 16, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I mean...most of the time, no. Unless it's ice-cream cake. I don't really like cheese-cake...the one year I got cheese-cake...
D<
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:iconpiikan:
Ahh I would love to go to your birthday party! And then everyone would draw togetherr uwu♥
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:iconpasakon:
*pasakon Dec 16, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Awww wow that sounds like a really fun birthday! XD
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